The Moldavite Era
A new crop of Moldavite Girls is popping up out of the compost heap!
Does anyone else remember 2021-2022? It feels like it was a good fifty years ago. Does anyone remember the Moldavite Girls from TikTok? Where are they? What are they up to these days?
Moldavite took social media by storm after the 2020 Shitshow. The funny thing is, I don’t think most of those young women were wearing actual moldavite.
If you’re wearing a 20-gram stone wrapped in a cute little spiral wire around your neck, that you got on Etsy for $45 back in those halcyon TikTok days, then you aren’t wearing moldavite; you’re wearing some very convincing and fancy glass or lab-generated crystal made in India or China. If your world was upended after putting said stone around your neck, then it was entirely your own mental doing because you heard about it online, the algorithm fed you a bunch of confirming material, you went down a rabbit hole and POOF — you were having a crisis. The old mystical adage about thinking something into existence 150% tracks.
But let’s talk about real moldavite for a moment. I’m seeing more woo about it on the apps; it seems to be enjoying a little resurgence, perhaps because social media memories are so short. I’m not going to bother looking online for any information because everything is the same now that everyone is using AI. Since AI scrapes the internet to learn, it’s learning from itself, and that particular cycle has become a perpetual motion machine of silliness.
I’m going to refer instead to Love Is In The Earth by Melody, one of the books from back in the day that has informed a couple of generations of woo-woo folks.
In general, tektites, which are meteoric glass rather than crystals, encourage gathering knowledge from a wide variety of areas of life. They also encourage travel and movement. Tektites balance the order of things, and while they will hinder pitching a tent and camping out in negative patterns of behaviour, they won’t stand in the way of you learning from your less-than-stellar moments. In fact, the energy of tektites encourages this.
Tektites are known all over the world. I can’t think of a single pre-Industrial culture that didn’t pick up a crystal or stone and not feel something. Tektites in particular were seen as stones of great power. Ancient people knew they were remnants of meteors that had fallen from the sky, and everyone seemed to have held them in high esteem. They were believed to bring wealth, power, fertility, and longevity, and to aid in telepathic communication or in the extraction of knowledge from all over the universe. Having one tektite is believed to increase your chances of finding more tektites, much like the Universal Cat Distribution System guarantees that cats will find you, especially if you already have one.
They can also be used to treat fevers, although I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you to put down the stone and call your doctor if you get sick. Apparently, they can also be used to reduce the transmission of diseases, but again — wash your damned hands, don’t hang out around sick people, and call your doctor if you feel unwell. As a class of stones, they’re considered to be stones “of light”. In general, this class of stones vibrates to the number 9, which is ruled by Mars, although individual tektites will have their own numerological correspondences.
Moldavite is a member of the tektite family. It comes from the former Czechoslovakia ( now the Czech Republic — this book was written before the fall of the Soviet Union). It was formed over fifteen million years ago when a meteorite crashed in the area and created a “strew field” of the glass. Per Melody, “it carries one beyond the mirage of life, to a home from which one has been absent, providing the image of eternity and the vision and energy to translate the image into reality.” It also “expands the scope and magnitude of the vibrational spectrums which one can approach, while allowing a more encompassing passageway to those spectrums of which one already has access; that is, one will ‘see’ more clearly and ‘see’ with an expansion of vision within the vibrational territory to which one has ventured, and/or one will be provided the inter-connection with the multi-dimensional horizons not yet experienced.”
God, I love New Age language; it’s like reading the minutes from a mystical HR meeting out there in the astral plane. It’s so sanitized and soft. No wonder so many young people raised in complete and total political correctness got sucked in. When you’re raised on sanitized therapeutic language, you’re primed to accept dangerous or destabilizing ideas that come wrapped in soft words — and that extends to more than just playing with rocks, folks.
Maybe it’s just my age or the lack of estrogen as I claw my way through perimenopause, but it’s hilarious that New Age writers are describing something with a vibration that could create a mental crisis in a language that sounds like it has been approved by the Department of Galactic Wellness:
“It carries one beyond the mirage of life, to a home from which one has been absent…”
In Plain English: It can make ordinary life feel fake, flimsy, or too small. The person may have an experience of “this cannot be all there is,” or “I have been living inside a cardboard cutout version of reality.” That type of realization can feel beautiful for about five minutes, but it can also make someone suddenly dissatisfied with their job, relationship, identity, routines, beliefs, or entire identity.
…providing the image of eternity and the vision and energy to translate the image into reality.”
In Plain English: You get a glimpse of something vast, meaningful, or transcendent, and then you feel compelled to completely reorganize your life around it. Sometimes this is positive, and it becomes about getting your life in order, seeking sobriety, reinventing yourself, and/or finally leaving the thing you knew you needed to leave. Maybe you write something brilliant or birth some masterful art. These epiphanies can also turn into “I am going to walk away from my spouse, kids, and secure and prosperous life, and move to Sedona and open a starseed cacao temple by Thursday as the Light Lords commanded.” Either way, reorganizing your life around an epiphany, whether it is a positive or negative thing, can be an absolute shitshow during the process.
“Expands the scope and magnitude of the vibrational spectrums…”
In Plain English: Your bandwidth gets wider, and you notice more. You can connect more of the dots at a faster rate. You become more sensitive to symbolism, emotion, synchronicity, intuition, atmosphere, and the patterns of the world that were already there.
And here is a hard truth about that: not every dot is actually connected. Mind-expanding experiences can increase perception, but they can also increase projection. You may see more clearly, or you may simply see more and assume all of it is meaningful.
“…inter-connection with the multi-dimensional horizons not yet experienced.”
In Plain English: You may encounter material outside your usual frame of reference. That can mean spiritual insight, spiritual beings codified in the world’s folklore, psychological material, ancestral stuff, repressed grief, old trauma, creative visions that can come from bright or dark places in your head, or the sudden realization that your entire personality has been held together with a customer-service voice and cold brew.
Translated from New Age corporate astral-speak, this is basically saying that moldavite can blow a hole in your ordinary perception of reality. It can make your regular life feel like a set piece and bring on the sense that there is something larger, older, or more real behind the daily routine, and once you have seen it, you may not be able to comfortably unsee it.
That sounds lovely when softened into phrases like “expanded vibrational spectrums” and “multi-dimensional horizons,” but in plain language, it means this: the filters come off, and you may start noticing more than you know how to process. It can be way too much and cause a mental meltdown. You may become more intuitive, more emotionally porous, more pattern-hungry, and more convinced that everything means something. Your psyche is opening every drawer in the house at once, and the end result can be catastrophic, particularly when you’re taking advice from a bunch of Chapter Three Witches who only became old enough to sidle up to the shooter bar last month and are positioning themselves as experts in 30-second sound-bites.
Nothing is new. Melody’s books were written decades ago, and she most likely dined out on the work of others who had written the same things decades earlier. The authors you’re reading now more than likely have copies of her work, just like I do.
Do I “believe” in any of this? Well, I have a bloodstone sphere that I can hold in my left hand, which starts to tingle, and within thirty seconds, my right hand starts to tingle. On days that I do this, really nice things happen. It’s been like that since the day I found this stone in a shop and picked it up.
I saw a genuine 5-gram piece of moldavite on sale from a reputable seller for about $400, but remember, for a budget-friendly $45 for a fabulous fake on Etsy, you can think yourself right into an existential crisis or spiritual psychosis, Galactic Council optional.